The 7 Stages of Relationships©
The 7 Stages of Relationships©
Learning these 7 Stages Can Transform every Relationship into Peace
You became a couple to love and share a wonderful life together, didn’t you? Or you may be looking for a great partner right now because your life is good and you want a partner to share it with you. Perhaps you’ve realized that for you, life has more sweetness if you have a companion, yes?
None of us began a relationship to meet someone to argue with and we never looked online for the most argumentative person we could find, right? However, as relationships continue the biggest problem is not money, it’s not infidelity, it’s not porn or religion or politics, or even addiction; the biggest problem that most couples face is arguments simply because they were never taught how to create peace. If this sounds like you please know that I have the solution and it works and thousands and thousands of people have learned this from me.
With Heartspace® you can avoid every single argument; you can forget bickering and resentment and still be heard and understood. You can learn to do this at any point in your relationship; before or during the marriage or while you’re living together. If you have children you’ll need to do this even if you end the relationship with the other parent because post-divorce children are the gift that keeps on giving you new opportunities to feel RAGE or create PEACE during shared custody.
So many of you have asked me how you can learn to create peace and the answer is that as we learn to transform into more peaceful people- from the inside out. We can each shift the way we think, listen, speak, and act with the Heartspace® and 6 Part Conversation© training so that every relationship becomes the loving, supportive, and joyous experiences that most of us searched for, and sometimes that means learning to create different relationships! As soon as you see what The 7 Stages and The 6 Part Conversation are doing for you, will it still make sense to surround yourself with angry, argumentative people?
A workable life-long relationship is one in which at least one of you is able to focus on solutions instead of on problems. With the countless individuals, families, and corporations who have studied this, and my workshops in jail for the California MERIT program, I’ve heard that everyone wants the same things. Everyone needs more self-respect, respect from others, affection, peace, financial security, passion, trust, and more love. The “more” is what is always possible when at least one of you in each relationship learns to begin by creating more peace.
The most important skills that you can learn to move from PANIC to PEACE are part of the 6 Part Conversation©: Self-empathy and Empathy. It’s up to each of us to create the life we desire and with Self-empathy and Empathy, you can do it just as I have. Please remember that the greatest news is that it takes only 1 partner to create peace in any relationship! And peace is the first step for you because then you can inspire your partner to meet more of your needs and by doing that, with peace, more of your partners' needs will also be met.
When you learn Self-empathy you will see that you’re feeling PANIC, AGONY, RAGE, etc. because you haven’t been able to get one or more of your needs met. You’ll remember when other people felt so angry that they yelled at you because they wanted you to meet more of their needs. When that happened you probably thought “Why don’t they just speak to me calmly and with respect and then I might do it!”
We all do the best we can with the skills we have so more skills always equal better results. When we learn to calm ourselves other people will listen and that is the key to being heard which leads you from PANIC to PEACE in every relationship. This can become a new habit in a few weeks and once this is your go-to choice you’ll be amazed at all the relationships and situations that begin to improve for you. As your relationships at home and at work start to become easier and more enjoyable, you’ll see that this includes your most important relationship; the one you have with yourself!
I look forward to all your comments and questions at susan@susanallan.org